Yes, all of this.

I've seen that happen, too, and so often it boils down to not just that you have to ship het, but that you have to ship the correct het pairings. It often doesn't count unless you ship their het OTP.

I also see the notion that if you don't ship the approved canon het, it's proof that you're biphobic. That really bugs me, because it smacks of the notion that while it's OK for someone to be attracted to their own gender, they still have to be sexually available to the opposite gender. And it also smacks of the notion that if anyone has ever expressed any interest in the opposite sex, or dated or had a relationship with someone of the opposite sex, they can't truly be gay. I find both of these assumptions to be obnoxious, like people insisting that the closet isn't a thing, and a journey that a lot of non-straight people have experienced can't possibly be real.

And while it's mostly just ship war bullshit dressing itself up as being for Great Justice, it does sometimes come across as homophobic to me.