The Meme of Bilitis

I like Lambdadelta/Bernkastel, but my favorite fucked-up Umineko ship is actually Erika/Dlanor. I have considered filthy smut, but they also look about twelve even though Erika is at least old enough to have been to college and Dlanor has existed for like sixty years. Goddammit, Umineko, why are you like this.