ayrt Sorry, I didn't explain myself adequately--what I meant was I have specifically seen "awesome ladeez" and "awesome lady fans" used to mock or deride fans who prefer to focus on female characters (as opposed to the obviously superior slash ships, is the implication--and sometimes to the extent of implying that the choice is slash vs. het and f/f doesn't exist). And I do come from fandoms that are still pretty bad about women at times, so that's frustrating. My experience may not be representative, but that's what the phrase brings to mind for me.

I've seen the flattening in the name of love, too, and
that's also frustrating but not to the same extent because often it's young writers and I can see they're making an effort out of genuine enthusiasm even if they haven't quite internalized that "badass" isn't a personality traits.