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(frozen comment) Re: wank containment area

[(Anonymous)]

I mean, what I'm disagreeing with is that things like the split attraction model are innately homophobic (or whatever you're trying to say about aces who have sex?), as opposed to... actual expressed homophobia. Which yes, I've seen come from asexual people whining about pride being too full of pda or a gay relationship being ~ruined~ by sex, but not to the degree that the entire community gets categorized by those of you with these type of arguments.

(I do agree that forcibly universalizing split attraction is shitty and can absolutely tap into traumatic experiences for many non-ace LGBT people, btw. I just also think it has its utility and is worth discussing as an option rather than as something either fundamental for everyone or something fundamentally harmful.)

(frozen comment) Re: wank containment area

[(Anonymous)]

SA

So in my view (and in my experience), they don't think I'm disgusting. The way say, log cabin republicans absolutely are hobnobbing with people who want to take away their rights.

But you do you. :)

(frozen comment) Re: wank containment area

[(Anonymous)]

> the split attraction model are innately homophobic

I'm talking about aces who force the split attraction model on everyone, who say stuff like "but I'm not straight, I'm hetero romantic" as if society at large gives half a shit, who say it's possible to be a heteroromantic or biromantic lesbian. If you want to call yourself ace bi or whatever then it's not about you.

> whatever you're trying to say about aces who have sex?

See, there's a very large contingent of ace discoursers who continue to move the goalposts about what counts as sexual attraction, because they grew up and realized they like having sex but didn't want to give up their labels. So now, even if you like having sex, eagerly seek out sex, and want to have sex with specific people, it's not "sexual attraction", somehow, because they're just doing it because they like how sex feels and they want to feel close to their partner, and this is totally different from the majority of people because *crickets*.

> not to the degree that the entire community gets categorized by those of you with these type of arguments

When the day comes that LGBT asexuals are able to speak out against this crap without cishet asexuals accusing them of being self-hating, or "allo" infiltrators, then I'll stop making these generalizations.

(frozen comment) Re: wank containment area

[(Anonymous)]

who say stuff like "but I'm not straight, I'm hetero romantic"
I mean... are you talking about people who use this as a justification for why they should be considered under the queer umbrella, or are you talking about people who are explaining their own identity this way? Because the latter is, again, not something I think is innately harmful. People who experience the split attraction model using it to describe their identity and experiences are not forcing it on you.

I don't actually want to get deep into this wank, because I don't really feel qualified, but I guess what I will say is that I don't think we're ever going to see eye-to-eye on this, because what you see as moving goal posts and assume is coming from people who don't want to give up their labels, I tend to see as people sincerely trying to find language for their experience. My own path to understanding how attraction worked for me was not easy or straightforward, and I was glad to have folks around me who encouraged me to look into as many weird and out there explanations as I needed before I ultimately settled back on "lesbian". But if someone who is wired the same way I am but learned to express that as "homosexual biromantic" wanted to do so, and talk about how they could have sex with men and experience pleasure but it would never feel the same way it did with women because with men it was about physical pleasure and not an attraction to the actual person, I am not going to assume they're doing it to be a special snowflake or to differentiate themself from me because they hate me or anything else. I'm going to assume it's because we are wired in a confusing way and society does not make unpacking that wiring very easy.

When the day comes that LGBT asexuals are able to speak out against this crap without cishet asexuals accusing them of being self-hating, or "allo" infiltrators, then I'll stop making these generalizations.

I don't doubt that you've seen a lot of this. But I've also regularly seen LGBT asexuals, and just LGBT people, become relabeled as cishet aces by their opponents, the second they pick up an argument that "the asexual community is inherently homophobic" crowd (which absolutely does include LGBT aces, I'm not denying that) doesn't like. So I don't really have enough hard data to believe that this goes the one way you're saying it does.